The 80s were a time that not all of us are proud of. We wore a lot of colors, we made a lot of bold hair choices, and our makeup wasn’t always as subtle as it could have been, but you know what, it was awesome.
Okay, I’m lying, it was kind of a mess. But it was a lovable mess. It was never boring, that’s for sure, but we can’t really pretend like there weren’t dozens of fashion mistakes that we all look at and kind of regret. Don’t believe me? Let’s take a look.
1. The Mullet
You can tell me that it was cool, but if I said you had to get one again, you’d be real sad wouldn’t you? Business in the front and party in the back is not a look that the average person can pull off. It takes a lot of confidence, and even then it’s not the greatest.
2. Parachute Pants
MC Hammer lied to us. Looking like we were straight out of Aladdin was not as stylish as we thought. To be fair, they were fairly comfortable depending on the fabric though, so I can’t really fault you for that.
3. Fringed Jackets
I know that some people still rock a good fringe, and if you do, all the power to you, but it’s not really going to be a look that stands the test of time. Although maybe I’m wrong. Maybe it’s one of those looks that is timeless because it all feels very old west to me. But when it’s paired with a bedazzled denim jacket, it kind of loses the cowboy feel.
The reasons why people thought a heat-based color changing article of clothing was a good idea is completely baffling to me. Do you really want to highlight your sweaty armpits? No, that’s the last thing you want to appear to be highlighter pink.
5. Shoulder Pads
The bigger the shoulders the more powerful you are, at least that’s how it was in the 80s. From Dynasty to Diana, shoulder pads were present for a lot of iconic outfits, but the jury is still out on whether or not they should have been. Just kidding, the jury came back in a while ago and they said they want to pass on the shoulder pads.
Honestly, it just keeps getting worse…
6. Fanny Packs
A purse was simply too cumbersome right? You needed all your change and notes right at the front of your body so that you could carry more? I guess it was a good place to keep snacks on the go, but really they did not look great. Let’s all just ignore the fact that they’ve been coming back into style lately…
7. Shell Suits – Aka the Wind Breaker Suits
Power walking wasn’t for the faint of heart. You needed to brace yourself for those hurricane-force winds that you caused by waving those arms up and down. Those wrist weights really created a lot of force, so you needed to be prepared right? On the plus side, literally everyone within a square mile could hear you coming… I don’t know how that’s a plus, but it’s all I’ve got.
We’re not talking those subdued perms that people have been rocking lately, we’re talking about those huge, frizzy, poodle mops that were piled on top of our heads. They were so damaged that a strong gust of wind could knock out half of your hair. You better get a shell suit for that perm!
9. Blue Eyeshadow
While a lot of people use makeup to enhance their natural beauty, the 80s were a time to make your eyelids a bright blue. Because that’s what true beauty looks like okay? Just go with it. It was fun at the time, but looking back at pictures from high school will make you cringe so hard you pop your neck out of place.
10. Spandex Workout Gear
I don’t know why those high cut leotards were so popular, because having my workout outfit venture into my body is really not my idea of fun. I feel like the look of these outfits was perhaps a little more of the concern as opposed to their utility, because they weren’t the most ideal, that’s for sure.