Life | Toys | Retro

13 Toys We Loved That We're Amazed Didn't Kill Anybody

Every kid likes playing with toys, but sometimes you have to wonder if the companies that make them don't secretly hate kids. When you look at these next 13 toys, it's hard to imagine that a ton of us even made it to adulthood!

Bat Masterson Derringer Belt Gun


Because nothing says "safety" like a prop gun that shoots hot exploding caps while sitting directly above your crotch.

Atomic Energy Lab

Eccentric Roadside

This toy from the 50s shipped with genuinely radioactive material included in it for kids to play with. No, we are not kidding.

Slip N' Slide


There was nothing quite like rocketing down a horizontal water tube at top speeds, especially once you went just a bit too fast and crashed into something.

CSI Fingerprint Examination Kit


Turns out the powder used to dust for prints with this contained one of the most dangerous forms of asbestos, making this kit a freaking CANCER RISK.

Seriously, there's no way nobody realized how dangerous some of these next ones were...

Sky Dancers


You launched them into the air and they spun downwards with their heavy plastic wings. These actually hurt like hell if one made contact with you on the way down.

Creepy Crawlers


Really, you think an oven that burns at degrees hot enough to bake freaking moldable plastic might be dangerous? Nah.

Empire Little Lady Stove

National Museum of Play

This was basically just a working electrical stove. Seriously, it could reach temperatures up to 600 degrees celsius, leading to it being one of the first toys to be banned in America.

Moon Shoes


They were supposed to make you jump higher, but ultimately just made you look like a moron and fall over a lot.

Socker Boppers

Because apparently being punched in the face with an inflatable glove was supposed to be painless? Newsflash guys; it still freaking hurts.

Pogo Balls


Standing and bouncing on what was basically a plastic platform attached to two kickballs. What could possibly go wrong?



Swinging around a heavy ball in order to jump over it might've seemed like fun, and for a time it was... right up until you got nailed in the shin by the ball. Ouch.

Water Rockets


Seriously, this was just shooting something into the air through immense water pressure. It's a miracle they didn't explode on us, or take out anybody's eyes on the way down.

Lawn Darts

Cool Things

These were literally weighted, extremely pointy darts that were meant to land and stick out of the ground. They proved to be so dangerous that they've been banned in a bunch of major countries, including pretty much all of North America!

Did you have any of these when you were a kid? What did you think of them?