Our generations had the best toys growing up, and I won't entertain any other opinions. Sure, we may not have had drones (or whatever the hell youths are playing with these days), but we had some amazing toys.
Some of them were SO cool, we didn't even know how they worked (and frankly, still don't).
1. Water Snakes
Okay, in fairness, it's not the how that makes these ones confusing...it's the why. WHY did we have so much fun playing with bags filled with water? I want to know the science behind this, and I will not continue anything else until it is explained. Just kidding. We have more toys to explore!
What confused us then: how they worked.
What confuses us now: why we liked them.
2. Groaning Stick
Yes, this was the real name. No, you should not Google it unless you have safe search turned on. This was the stick that went WHOOOOOOOP - MOOOOOOOOOOOP. It was also the stick your parents threatened to break in half if you didn't stop using it. It basically operated off of magic (and probably something more gadget-y inside).
What confused us then: how a stick could make a sound by moving.
What confuses us now: how our parents ever bought us one.
3. Echo Mics
As one of my co-workers put it, "the day I got that mic was the last time my parents had a good night's sleep". We were all mesmerized by how loud our voices could become, even though nothing was plugged in. Echo? What's that? I'm too busy singing Barbie Girl at the top of my lungs.
What confused us then: how our voices could be magnified using plastic.
What confuses us now: why someone would invent this.
4. Sky Dancers
What I want to know is why the commercial showed them flying about 5 feet in the air, while all mine could do was fly about three inches off the platform and then promptly smack me in the face? But hey, at least none of us are this girl.
What confused us then: how the fairies could fly using just string.
What confuses us now: how we didn't lose both our eyes.
5. Freaky Food Lab
If you can't trust a scientist with wacky hair who's telling you to eat stuff coming out of a skull, who can you trust? We were all way too eager to eat something called "monster skin", but we did it anyways. This was basically the "boy" version of the Easy Bake Oven, which is dumb because everyone enjoys baked goods, regardless of whether or not they're named after the flesh of a mythical creature.
What confused us then: how powder could turn into something we could eat.
What confuses us now: how we didn't die while eating food that was made out of powder.
6. Me And My Shadow
Remember when these robot dogs were the height of technology? I couldn't grasp how this dog understood what I was saying and manage to do what I told it. The problem was that you had to wear a headset which only responded to you saying "Shadow" in the same tone every single time. The problem for my parents was that I never remembered how I said it originally, so I would spend my days saying "Shadow" in every possible tone.
What confused us then: how it could be so life-like!!!!!!
What confuses us now: how my parents managed to con me into believing this replaced getting an ACTUAL DOG.
WE. WERE. SHOOK.
What confused us then: how the liquid could disappear without leaving the bottle!
What confuses us now: how we could be no naive (...and also how the liquid could disappear without leaving the bottle)
8. Aqua Sand
This sand was the epitome of magic to us as kids. Being able to put sand in water and have it be totally fine once you take it out? Complete sorcery. Our parents loved it because we could contain our mess to a bucket of water, and we loved it because we felt like wizards.
What confused us then: how the sand could get wet but then NOT be wet when it's outside of water
What confuses us now: [see above]
9. Plastic Bubbles
If you didn't get plastic bubbles in your stocking at Christmas, did your parents even love you? (I mean, probably, but still). Being able to blow a bubble out of plastic was a game-changer for all of us, and the fact that the commercial played 24/7 made it impossible to resist.
What confused us then: how a bubble could be made out of something other than soap.
What confuses us now: why we would want to blow a bubble out of plastic???
Gak was THE thing to have. If you didn't have Gak, you were a member of Loserville, population YOU. Sure, it was just slime...but it was cool slime. And that's the best kind of slime there is.
What confused us then: how something so simple could be so COOL.
What confuses us now: why we were all such weird children.