I know that 80s movies are a category of their own. Sure, there are rom-coms and action movies, but then there are also 80s rom-coms and 80s action movies.
They are different, they are unparalleled, and they are just better than other movies. Case in point: Mannequin.
The outrageously bizarre 80s rom-com brings joy to all of our hearts (or at least those lucky enough to remember it) even though the premise is absolute bonkers.
Here’s the thing, I love this movie with my whole heart. I can probably quote the entire thing to you right now (I won’t) but that doesn’t mean that I don’t have some questions about this wild ride of a film.
First of all, was she a mannequin or statue of some sort in every time period she visited?
So Emmy starts off in ancient Egypt, and prays to the gods to get away from her arranged marriage. Sure, I’m following so far (as much as anyone can). But then, they actually get her out of here, leaving her mom staring into the emptiness, and Emmy goes off on an adventure.
Sure, it’s done via cartoon montage, but it’s still a huge time span that she travels through. She says later that she’s met a lot of people in her time, but was she human when she landed there, or was she always some kind of mannequin?
Why is she a mannequin in this world? Is this some kind of punishment? Or was that just the way the gods worked?
Does she age, or does she just eventually jump into another time period?
She keeps hopping around, visiting different centuries and countries apparently, but she still is just as young as she was when she was supposed to get married.
Does she never age? Is she going to stay young and beautiful forever while her new husband Jonathan grows old?
When he dies one day, will she just say “oh well” and then head on to her next adventure? When does it stop for her?
Were there no cameras in this mall?
I mean, I know it was the 80s, but security cameras seem pretty essential in a place that big? I guess they had that security guard and maybe at the time security cameras weren’t popular yet, but it feels like a lot of confusion could have been solved if there had been some surveillance.
Did Jonathan clean up after himself or did he just leave giant messes everywhere?
Jonathan and Emmy made enormous messes all over the store while they had their outfit changes and reckless adventures. Did he set up the window displays and then go back and clean up once Emmy was in place, or did she help out?
Why didn’t he just bring her home with him?
I guess her being stolen was completely unexpected, but it seems like the first time a mannequin comes alive and starts talking to you, you should bring it home. I mean, he already ventured out into the world with her on the back of her motorcycle, so it’s not like he’s afraid of being seen.
Did Hollywood ever find love?
I’m 300% more invested in Hollywood’s life than any of the other characters. Is he okay? He was so worried about his partner, I just want him to be happy.
Is Rambo okay?
He was getting wheeled around in a wagon by the end, is he okay? Rambo and Hollywood could/should have a spinoff, just saying.